Sway
by LilMizSun
Summary: Dart has been talking about leaving on a journey that may take Soa only knows how long! A distressed 13 year old Shana tries to sway her "big brother" Dart into seeing her as something other than a child, if she fails. Romantically if she succeeds!


Hi, this is Kyla! So at this time I don't really have a writing style established, so I'm going to be diddling/diddleling (does anyone know what I'm trying to say?) with different styles. Or maybe I'll just practice all of them?

The Mission Begins

I awake in my warm bed to the soft prattle of rain against the roofs tiles. I've been awake for a long time now, just thinking about what dark said yesterday, "Journeying about now doesn't sound bad at all, I have entered adulthood now, I'd do well on my own." I don't even remember what we were talking about previously, but not for the first time the fear of him leaving gripped me. He had talked of journeying since I can remember, but now he spoke with a certain conviction, with a certainty that scared me. And although he said journeying and he always says that it's only locally, I know him better than that.

It's about searching for the Black Monster, so much I'm starting to worry he really will go. Go and leave me? My heart clenches painfully at the thought of not having him near me. Not for what could be a very long time. Not without knowing if he will be alright, without knowing if he will find some pretty flirty girl in his travels that will catch his eye.

I shut my eyes tightly at the thought.

I know there are many girls here in the village who like him as more than just a friend. I've seen them smile up at him, and bat their pretty lashes. Girls that are so much prettier and mature than me… Oh, how I dislike them so!

But none of them know him! Not like I do!

I know how he hides his suffering at having lost his family, how he puts on a strong face; I know the darkness and bitterness that consumes him even as he smiles kindly to everyone.

Dart… if only you could see me. You treat me so kindly, so sweetly, as if I were so breakable…

Dart… I know you are trying to protect me from your dark past, from seeing the darker side of you. You don't need to fear that you will scare me, or that I may judge you wrongly, for I would not. I could not.

Oh Dart… I care for you so…! I cannot sleep, I cannot do my daily tasks without fretting about where you are and if you are thinking about me… but I think not. I think you do not see me as more than that child you grew up with. The one you had to protect from all the harms in the world. I have been placed on a safe pedestal where I can be admired, but not loved, not really known.

And I want your love. And you are 18 and other young men in the village have taken wives at 18! Wives that are not 13 as I am… and so I worry.

I don't want to lose you without having had a chance.

Even if you do not leave, even if you stay, I see how Janeta and Mira look at you. I've heard them talk about what a fine husband you will make and I've seen them hold your arm to their breast.

And though you blush and brush it off, it drives me mad!

How I wish I could be the sort to stand up and take a stand for what I want. Fight for whom I love. I wish I were a strong woman you could admire and love. A woman you didn't feel the need to hide things from. I wish I…! I wish… Soa how I wish I were someone else! Someone enchantingly beautiful, a full grown woman who was strong and wise and sure of herself. I wish…

I hear the door open and mother walks by with a cup of hot chocolate and places it on my nightstand. She turns to shake me but my eyes are open. "Oh, darling, you're up! I brought some hot chocolate to warm you up. It's a frilly (is it even a word? I really don't know) morning." I thank her and sit up in bed. Mother busies herself picking some teddy-bears that had fallen up while I drink.

"Mother?" I ask unsurely.

"Yes, dear"

"Do you like yourself?" she looks at me oddly. "I mean, is there something about you that you don't like and would like to be different?"

"Ah. Well, sure, everyone wants to change something."

"They do? Like what?"

"Well," she thought for a moment "I don't like how I wait for the last minute to buy ingredients I need. Then I have to go around asking our neighbors, not that they mind, for ingredients the local shop does not have and when I can't go to town." She smiled reassuringly.

It wasn't exactly what I was looking for…

"But like any other attribute about myself I haven't liked in the past, I work to change it. That's why I make lists now. Lists everywhere!" She laughs because we do have lists of groceries, materials, things to do everywhere nowadays. "But there isn't any reason not to like one-self." She looks at me questioningly.

"I like myself, mom," I lie "but you're right, there are small things about me I wouldn't mind working on" I smile for her benefit.

She smiles back and asks what sort of things, maybe she could help. No, mom, I'd rather do this alone… "Well," I think hard "I don't like that I miss so much with the bow. I wish I had better aim so that Dart won't let me win every time." Mom laughs.

"Sweetheart, dart has had more practice than you, is all. It's nice of him to let you win. It wouldn't be any fun if you lost every time, would it?"

"No, I suppose not."

"But the best way to remedy this dislike is to get up, get washed up, dressed and be on your way to practice that aim."

"Really, mom? What about my chores?"

"What? Well, your chores are still there. But you'll finish them faster if there is something else you want to do after." She smiles winningly. I frown. "Come on, come on, sleepy head, up you go. Help me set the table for breakfast.

"Yes, mom."

After breakfast I rush to finish my chores. What mother said was true. No use moping about what I cannot be. It's better that I work towards what I want to be. It's not so hard when I think of who I am doing this for. I smile just thinking about him. It's for Dart that I want to be a better person.

It is almost mid-day by the time I finish my chores. I've packed a small lunch to take with me to the local clear grounds of the village where I will practice my aim. I will be practicing my aim, but more than that I will have to think about a way to … to change myself. To improve myself.

No more self-pitying. This here, having the bow in my hand feels many times better than being at home on the bed staring at the walls. Much better, I already feel in control. I mean, some control. At least it's a start and I'm on the right path.

I aim at the white chalk mark on a wide wooden post and let go. I miss. I try again for the 10th time and I still miss.

I breathe in and try to relax. Ok, so obviously change doesn't happen right away. That's ok, I repeat to myself. I have patience. Just think of Dart, think of Dart, think of Dart!

So I miss for the 20th time, but the 11th was pretty close, and sit down. I've come up with various ideas on how to "change". Dart thinks of me as a child and it's not his fault. We've grown up together and it's taking him some time to notice that I am no longer a child. But I will help him.

I don't want to do something as blatant as … as… what Janeta and Mira do… I blush just thinking about placing his arm on my chest.

Stop it, stop it! Why not? I mean, really. I think Dart obviously knows Janeta and Mira are grown… so if I act as they do then he'll have to categorize me as grown along with them! Oh my God, this sounds like a bad idea. I should stop now. But I really would like his arm on … I blush. Stop blushing! It is not something to blush about, it is perfectly fine!

….Is it fine? I mean, I think it's fine. It's normal for a woman to-to.. to want… To want a mans arm on their chest. This is so stupid.

Just say it!, the voice in my head shouts, Say it! Say that you want Darts arms on your chest! Ah! I didn't say that! I place my cold hands on my hot cheeks. It's a good think nobody is around. I'd be mortified if anyone saw me making the faces I'm making right now.

I know it's normal to want something physical from the man one loves. Good, that came across nicely. I just happen to love Dart. And I will get used to his touches.

Then it's settled. I will touch Dart. I will place his arms around my breast. Or my breast on his arms, it does not matter! All I know is that some touching is going to happen and happen soon.

I feel a new strength rise from within me, a conviction I hadn't yet known. I feel so strong. I can do this. Haha. Why wait? Yes, why wait. Let's get this started now.

I pick up my arrow pouch and bow and head firmly into the village to drop off my things at home. I am going to fix myself up a little, then I'm hunting Dart down and … Well, at the very least we've established I AM going to touch him. I nod resolutely.

I am strong, I am sure, I am courageous, I am fierce and I will succeed.

Ok, ppl, thank you for your time, please read my profile so you know what my project is about. Basically, I need all sort of criticism because I want to become a writer. I'd love detailed criticism, but simple comments would be great. Heck, anything would be great!

Also, I have a tendency to make up words, please point that out for me!

Also, yes, Also, I usually don't start with any clear direction of where the story is going, so I am open to suggestions, ideas, things people would like to see more of, less of, etc :D

THANK YOU!


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